Advice Every 20-Something Needs to Hear

By Ran Zilca

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How I Stopped Fearing Failure and Started Really Living

Let’s be honest: Your twenties are a weird time. After teenage years spent in angst over the lack of freedom that comes with living under your parents’ roof, you finally have independence. Now what? You have to cook your own meals, clean your apartment (not just your bedroom), and pay all of those bills. Plus, there’s the whole searching for a job, getting a job, and then existentially questioning if said job is right for you. And on top of that, you could be plopped into a new city and met with the slightly terrifying prospect of making new friends.

When laid out like that, your twenties sound like a fragile and tumultuous time. But if we check out our friends’ perfectly filtered Instagram photos or stalk their amazing job promotions on LinkedIn, your twenties seem like they should be the time of your life. And then you start feeling left out and abnormal.

At times like these, we need to remember that we see in other people what they choose to display. And when you truly get to know others, you find out they experience the same type of insecurities and uncertainties that you do—even the ones with the “perfect” job and fun-filled photo feed.

Part of adulthood is understanding the importance of finding peace with your current situation. It took me until I was 40 years old, riding solo across the country on my motorcycle to really find my inner peace. On that month-long journey through small towns and big cities, I met with scientific experts, spiritual leaders, and people along the side of the road, and came to realize some universal truths that every 20-something needs to hear:

Everybody Hurts

Just like the early ‘90s R.E.M. anthem (and yes, if you’re a 20-something this came out when you were still in diapers) croons, “Everybody hurts—sometimes.” But social norms mandate that we keep these feelings to ourselves. Or if we must, share the pain with only the people who are closest to us. In addition to experiencing joy, laughter, exhilaration, and awe, we all experience sadness, anger, shame, confusion, and guilt.

We could all benefit from taking a page out of Buddhist traditions, which includes dukkha (or suffering) as a central concept. The Buddhist approach acknowledges that by its very nature, life is difficult, flawed, and imperfect. Dukkha is a natural part of life, and can only be eradicated in a lifelong journey toward enlightenment.

Modern science also recognizes that negative emotions are a necessary part of life, and part of their role is to grab our attention and alert us of potential dangers. Just …read more

Source:: Greatist